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AsukaHotaru's avatar

Whoa, Sensei... it feels like the river is counting while everyone else stays quiet. The repeats made my brain slow down, and that last line hit like time shrugging. Small words, big weight you got there.

Dawnithic's avatar

Mark, through this piece, you feel a meditation on what survives us...not names or words, but movement, weight, and silence. I love how the river remembers everything without remembering us, as if time keeps the rhythm, not the story. The closing thought, that silence outlives thought, lingers long after the poem ends.

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