The Sun Said Hop
The day the sun stopped moving us
The sun said hop,
the moon slipped by.
Wisps of air
passed morning sky.
The sun said skip,
the clouds sighed deep.
Their breath—
flew past the ravens’ keep.
The Sun slowed down.
People wept.
.
I felt the air lean heavy,
as if sound itself remembered regret.
No one said
their worlds should be kept.
The Sun stopped still.
The moon stayed dark—
in the silence,
in the quiet,
inside us.
.
Nothing truly leaves — it just changes how it stays.
If something moved in you — a silence that whispered — I’d love to hear it below, or in my DM’s.
Oohhh
It worked then 😄
So pleased you caught all the breathlines and pauses 💛
Disconcerting but so subtle. I love how the irregular lines work with the images to keep us just slightly off balance. Then this line "I felt the air lean heavy," slows the rhythm and the heavy consonance makes the words sit palpable on our tongues.
The alchemy of words continues!