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Jeanne Vessantra's avatar

One… two… three… type.

The same results. The same mind.

No bleeding heart.

One… two… three… type.

The defection does not matter now.

But I sense smoke in my belly.

Mark Crutchfield's avatar

@Jeanne Vessantra, I really love how you stepped inside the rhythm of the piece — it feels like it left something with you afterward.

Very interesting read!

Thank you for sharing.

Dipti  Vyas's avatar

Mark, I tried to edit my comment and failed miserably. So here’s the unedited version:

This reads like perfection without presence. Every protocol followed, every interval stable, every line of light accounted for, yet the detail that lingers isn’t what happened, but what didn’t. No irregularity, no variance, no input required. The system moved as if it already knew the outcome, and we are left only with the record of a procedure that observed itself.

The thin blue line, sitting where it was placed - disregarded, unnecessary is the pulse. It’s the trace of something that could have mattered, quietly ignored. Containment, consistency, resolution: all present. Yet there’s a subtle tension in noticing how thoroughly everything was anticipated, how fully expectation replaced intervention. This is order that has no witness, and it teaches that the calmest file often carries the sharpest awareness.

Mark Crutchfield's avatar

Dipti!

Thank you so much for this - unredacted as well.

You read it with exactly the right kind of attention.

You’re right about the thin blue line being the pulse — not because it means something, but because it’s the only thing that briefly resists being flattened by procedure. Everything else is absorbed, normalised, resolved. The line isn’t. It’s just noted, then dismissed.

Part of why I chose it, is that blue doesn’t ask for urgency. It’s the colour of “normal operation,” of things that are allowed to continue. So when it’s disregarded, it doesn’t feel like a decision — it feels like a default. And defaults are where systems hide their assumptions.

I really like how you framed this as order without a witness. That’s exactly the unease here: nothing is wrong, nothing intervenes, and yet everything behaves as if the outcome was known in advance.

Thank you for sitting with it so carefully, as you always do 💛

Dipti  Vyas's avatar

It’s funny, how easily the pulse disappears when you look away. Blue becomes just blue. Routine becomes invisible. And yet, it’s always there, humming quietly in the background, reminding you that observation isn’t always intervention.

I think that’s the part that lingers: not the system, not the line, but the way noticing makes you complicit. You see it, you catalogue it, and still nothing changes. That calm file, that discarded line… it teaches more than any disruption ever could.

You’ve framed it perfectly, Mark. The unease isn’t in failure; it’s in perfection that doesn’t need you.

Dawnithic's avatar

Mark, you’ve weaponized bureaucracy with chilling precision. The repetition of “no action required” and “no irregularity observed” doesn’t reassure...it suffocates. What’s brilliant here is how the document records absence as if it were evidence, turning procedure into a veil.

The dismissed blue line is the pulse of this piece...a moment of anomaly neutralized by language. By ending in total closure, you imply something far more disturbing...that containment isn’t about safety, but about erasing the need to look again.

Mark, everything I’ve described above can be read on the surface...but that surface meaning is only the disguise. The true weight of this document lies beneath it. In the end, I would close by saying this...the most dangerous system is not the one where something goes wrong, but the one that buries an extraordinary truth inside ordinary language. The greatest crime here is not that an error occurred...it is that the system refused to acknowledge it as an irregularity at all. That refusal is the real containment.

Mark Crutchfield's avatar

Thank you Dawnithic. Truly.

That reading feels both careful and unsettling in exactly the right way.

What I love most is how you stayed with the language as language, rather than jumping straight to intent.

The document doesn’t fail because it lies; it fails because it performs competence so thoroughly that attention becomes unnecessary. Your point about absence being treated as evidence is sharp — that’s where the suffocation lives.

And yes, the blue line. Not as mystery, but as a pulse that gets neutralised by procedure. Once it’s dismissed, the system can close itself again, intact and satisfied. Nothing to revisit. Nothing to feel responsible for.

Your final observation really lands hardest: that the danger isn’t malfunction, but fluency. A system so good at speaking ordinarily that it can hide anything extraordinary without resistance.

I’m grateful you looked underneath the surface — and named what the refusal itself was doing.

A perfect reading - thank you!

Dawnithic's avatar

Yeah, it was really a fantastic read. Thanks for a detailed analysis of my thoughts and a wonderful compliment.

Rachael Brash's avatar

Feeling my way through this it felt like someone with OCDs dream. I felt order, almost to a fault.

Mark Crutchfield's avatar

Thank you Rachael for feeling it so perfectly. An OCD dream is such a wonderful description 💛

✨️NightLure✨️'s avatar

A dramatic presence, so subtlety intense, Mark! ✨️🤍✨️

Mark Crutchfield's avatar

Thank @✨️NightLure✨️!

✨️NightLure✨️'s avatar

Always, Mark ! It's all ways a pleasure to journey where your words take us. 🫶

Jessie Laverton's avatar

These pieces are so clinical and detached compared to your other poems! Love it, though.

Mark Crutchfield's avatar

Thank @Jessie Laverton! ☺️

Gub's avatar

Mark it is really astounding how you manage to create these letters without repeating yourself. There is a solid craft behind these in the amount of care you spend on the many variations you have created.

It’s an excellent scene that perfects the mood of unsettlement without anything going wrong.

A brilliant project

Mark Crutchfield's avatar

Thank you kindly Gub!

You've caught the exact thread perfectly 😊

AsukaHotaru's avatar

Oslo politikammer — Saksnr. 3147/57. I hate how official that looks. My brain matter shook..! “A thin blue line was observed and disregarded” is the part my brain won’t let go of.

Mark Crutchfield's avatar

Haha - There's definitely something about it. It's Norwegian and I'm sure Helene's Algorithm would have an opinion.

Feels almost 40 years ago, communist bloc.

And I love how the thin blue line called out to you as the only colour in this piece :)

Marwa Mabrouk's avatar

No variance was detected across monitored points.

The result was consistent throughout.

The space was entered and cleared in the usual order.

This brings such comfort and a sense of order. I have to admit there is some peace in what sounds like routine and machine like execution

Mark Crutchfield's avatar

Such an interesting perspective Marwa, and one I would agree with too 😊

There is definitely something calming in things just going right and without issue, and maybe we’re just not used to it these days — if ever we were?

Marwa Mabrouk's avatar

That’s a good point. When things are stable we’re bored and we want action. Now that we have action we long for the boring …

The problem becomes clear 😊

Mark Crutchfield's avatar

Haha - Great point!

✨️NightLure✨️'s avatar

Marwa, you are always defining the ever present with grace.

Marwa Mabrouk's avatar

You’re so kind Nightlure , much love 🫶🫶